We Will Miss You

Kenny has gone home

Kenny and Patty Schuster

Remembering Kenny Schuster

Kenny Schuster was a dear friend of our family for decades. He faced his battle with stage four cancer with remarkable courage, deep faith, and honesty. Over the past year, Kenny graciously wrote four heartfelt articles for my Substack, sharing what he was learning as he walked through his battle with terminal cancer. His words reflected not just his struggles but his hope and the wisdom he gained along the way.

Kenny passed away last week. As a tribute to him, I’m re-sharing his first article and links to the other three at the end. His voice and faith continue to encourage and inspire, even now.

Green Pastures Redefined

The moments that matter

By Kenny Schuster

What happened to my green pastures and quiet waters? It’s natural to get excited about all the adventures ahead when I'm getting close to retirement. I dreamed of extra time with family and friends, traveling, and indulging in my hobbies. But what do I do when a rare stage 4 metastatic cancer diagnosis suddenly appears in my life? Everything gets put on hold, and the “what,” “why me,” or “why us” questions start looming large. Fear, discouragement, shock, and sadness become my constant companions. 

The impact of my diagnosis ripples outward, affecting my wife, children, siblings, dear friends, career, and finances. My planning shifts from future dreams to how long I have to live, treatment schedules, and managing a disease that wants to take my life. In case anyone’s wondering about my diagnosis, it’s appendiceal adenocarcinoma and peritoneal carcinomatosis.

Turning to scriptures, prayer, and a spiritual community is often the first step for those of us with faith. I found myself drawn to 4 Psalms (Psalms 23, 73, 84, and 139) seeking peace, answering the “why” question, and keeping bitterness at bay. 

This wasn’t what I had planned and worked for

The cancer diagnosis changed how I see the scriptures. Psalm 23, probably the most famous and comforting Psalm in the Bible, promises green pastures and quiet waters (Ps 23:2), which can be a soothing balm for a busy life. But what do I do when a cancer diagnosis turns that Psalm upside down? This wasn’t what I had planned and worked for. 

My green pastures had dried up in just a few hours, and the quiet waters raged. I was about to learn what God might have meant when He inspired David to write the Psalm.

I’m not immune to the American temptation to define green pastures regarding comfort, want, and wealth. A candid look at American life, with its consumerism and wealth, certainly impacts how I see green pastures. When these aren’t present, it’s easy to feel that God isn’t with me or is disciplining me for some fault or sin. 

Green pastures and quiet waters are temporary

My idea of green pastures included financial comfort and security, fun days filled with travel and adventure, and watching my grandkids grow up. One trip to the emergency room shattered those green pastures and still waters.

Upon much reflection, I’m learning that green pastures and quiet waters are temporary and shouldn’t be the ultimate goal in life. A shepherd leads his sheep to pastures for refreshment before moving them along their journey. The flock isn’t meant to stay in the green pastures forever. It can drive me crazy trying to understand why I can’t stay in a place of comfort, security, and safety. 

A simple observation is that the shepherd doesn’t owe the sheep an explanation. If I believe and live surrendered to Psalm 23:1, “The Lord is my shepherd,” I accept that I don’t have the same perspective and viewpoint as the shepherd. I become comfortable with not knowing. This can be particularly challenging for us control-oriented Americans. 

Most of life is lived between pastures

One way to measure my surrender to the shepherd is by seeing if I live in want. David proclaimed the Lord was his shepherd, therefore, he lacked nothing. If I'm always a bit unsatisfied with my life, always looking forward to the next “toy” or acquiring more, then maybe the shepherd and I are having issues.

I’m learning that most of life is lived between pastures. During these times, I grow and learn to trust the shepherd. There’s acceptance of the journey, peace in times of great stress and uncertainty, and reevaluation of priorities and time frames. For example, my planning for the future is now measured in about 3-month increments because I travel to MD Anderson Cancer Hospital in Houston every quarter for a CT scan and doctor appointments. 

Moments matter

For those of us who are planners, this short time frame can be maddening, but the blessing is learning to stay in the moment and live one day at a time. Moments matter, and if I'm always looking to the future, I easily miss what is right in front of me.

Finally, no one took my green pastures and quiet waters; they didn’t suddenly dry up and blow away. I’m reminded that the pastures and waters were never really mine but the ones God provided. The pastures I created were gone. They’ve been redefined, aligning with how God had planned from the beginning. 

Today, my green pastures include time with family, friends, and the spiritual community I’ve spent a lifetime building. My green pastures have become the simple times I share with people.

The more I surrender to the shepherd, the richer the journey becomes

I stopped working a year ago due to the impact of chemotherapy, much earlier than I had planned. Extra time with my wife, family, and friends has been an amazing blessing. The more I surrender to the shepherd, the richer the journey becomes. Once I recovered from the shock of my diagnosis, time has been filled with many wonderful moments and new, deeper insights into God’s word and the joy of rich relationships. 

My cancer is still with me; it’s stable but not going away. I’m sustained by God’s hand, the worldwide prayers of God’s people, excellent medical care, and excitement about the life ahead of me. The great lesson for me is that I can have cancer and still find green pastures and quiet waters, just not the ones I originally planned.