Learning To Love The Gift Of Ordinary

More from Kenny's journey

A spectacular, ordinary day

Kenny, who has been navigating life with stage four cancer, shares his profound wisdom. His insights always leave a lasting impression. This week, Kenny wasn’t feeling well enough to record a voiceover. Please pray for him.

by Kenny Schuster

One evening this past summer, my wife Patty commented that she just wants life to be ordinary. The cancer journey we are on has been filled with bad news, good news, discouragement, anxiety, uncertainty, hope, and hopelessness. Life is not ordinary for us - it might never be ordinary again.

During a recent bout of sickness related to my diagnosis, Patty was talking with her sister, who lost her husband to cancer three years ago (she has been an amazing sounding board for Patty - and we are thankful for her continued friendship). She reminded Patty that sometimes it feels like a roller coaster. This comment accurately summed up what Patty was experiencing – stuck in a dizzying freefall when you just want to be still on firm ground.

The pressure is anything but ordinary

The pressure when someone has cancer is not only on the patient but also on the spouse and their children. This may be an obvious statement, but it has been a revelation to me. Patty has all the pressure: the impending loss, life without her partner. The pressure is anything but ordinary. This summer, I asked if she ever thinks about life at the house without me here. She replied, “every single day.” Wow. With cancer, I have it easy compared to what she faces.

Ordinary days have become our most cherished moments. While many people post on social media about all the big things they do, we are “thrill-seeking” a quiet day at home without chemotherapy side effects.

Life abroad was exotic, and it required sacrifice

I have reflected on what we posted online when we lived in Cambodia. I’ve been told that many enjoyed and were inspired by our social media posts. However, those three years were anything but ordinary. Life abroad was exotic, and it required sacrifice.

Even while there, ordinary things were cherished. Evening dinners in Kampot with just the two of us were special. In light of my health challenges, those times would have been more highly valued if we could have known what the future would hold.

The new “Keeping Up with the Jones”

As I advance in life, I learn that it’s nearly impossible to live an eventful life every day. There seems to be such external pressure to present to the world around us that we are living an important life. Perhaps this is the new “Keeping up with the Jones.”

Western society pressures us not to value the ordinary. Ordinary can be interpreted as boring or unambitious. For some, exotic living or expensive vacations are frankly unobtainable for many people.

Our kids grew up with very modest trips due to our finances. In Texas, South Padre Island was a big deal compared with Galveston. Yes, there were times when Galveston was the destination. They were ordinary but fantastic because of our togetherness.

A cancer diagnosis reframed my value of ordinary

I don’t want to sound like a grumpy old man; I just turned 66. A cancer diagnosis reframed my value of ordinary. Over my lifetime, I’ve visited 16 countries. What made them special was Patty was with me. My days of extraordinary travels are probably over, but that’s okay.

Time with friends or quiet evenings with Patty are exceptional days. Patty was recently caught up at work on a Friday, and our granddaughters came over that afternoon. That meant four hours with “Poppie” (that’s me) and my precious granddaughters. That may seem ordinary for some, but for me, it was spectacular.

Grateful for a peaceful evening

What I mean by the greatness of the ordinary is that the memories we will look back on are the everyday moments spent with loved ones. The challenge we face is shifting how we measure what matters. Can we be content with a quiet life, learning to be grateful for a peaceful evening? I am.

Readers, if you’re interested in learning more about leaning into the ordinary:

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 (ESV): "And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you…”

1 Timothy 2:1-3 (ESV): “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, 2 for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. 3 This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior…”